I apologize for being so inactive lately! School has been tough and my personal life took a turn for the worse recently but I've gotten it back underway and things are finally getting back to normal. Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, and if you sent me a note or left me a comment, I am so sorry that I didn't reply. Also thank you to everyone who has left a favorite or a follow, as I just don't have to time to go to each of you and thank you individually. But really, thank you! I should be more active soon, I promise. Just as soon as school isn't eating me alive. Thanks for understanding and being awesome! 

Jeez, it's been forever since I made a journal or even posted anything. I'm sorry about that! I've been extremely busy with school, writing a book I'm wanting to publish, and running a blog. Thank you to every new watch and every favorite, you guys are the best. Hopefully I'll be more active this year, and I'll be able to get my life back on track. Thanks again, everyone, and I'll be posting things soon!    

I joined DeviantArt more than a year ago, and I wanted to share with you guys, in honor of the celebration, some of my favorite poems that I've written. DeviantArt helped me express my feelings and my dreams to be a writer easily and be able to share my writing and experience with others and hopefully encourage others and help them to see that they're not the only ones. This site has probably saved my life by helping me bleed my emotions in a poem. Thank you all for everything you guys do for me, I couldn't do it without you!
The Mice    They live under my porch.
      Or, at least, they did.
    They live in constant fear
      Of a furry white dog
    And a big, fat cat.
      I don't know the cat
    But the dog does,
      And she shares
    The mice she catches.
      I hear their little feet,
    The pitter-patter in the attic
      Where they're safe
    At least, for the moment.
      She likes to bring them
    Inside, as if to show me
      What she's done
    But I've seen the ones 
      She leaves by the tree
    Still alive, but dying
      And I've seen the cat
    His careful eyes watching
      As he takes them 
    I feel sorry for them
      But also,
    I'
The first poem I posted on here, ever. I'd posted some fanfiction, but never anything else. This was when I decided I wanted to share my poetry with others.

DoneI single tear slips down my face,
And my throat begins to burn,
As I try to hold in the sobs,
So my family wont know.
My hands are clenched at my sides,
My lips are dry and ripped,
My arms are bloody and scarred,
My brain is running wild.
To tell a person things,
Like 'Kill yourself, go die'
You must be the devil,
You must love to see me cry.
As I shakily get up, trying not to fall,
I cant help but wonder,
As I stumble to my dresser,
Why I'm even here at all.
The bruises that you gave me,
The scars that will never heal,
All the broken promises,
All the lies echo in my head.
I look into the mirror and make a face,
I'll never be pretty enough,
It's just like you always said,
I'm not good enough.
So I pick up the razor
To make another cut,
But this time, it will cut deeper,
Let me bleed to death, I don't care.
I'm done.
I had a lot of depression and tons of emotions twisted up inside, and I never let them out. This poem was written when I finally let go and began to write poetry about my own emotions, my own hurt, to escape and show others that they weren't alone in any way. After I wrote this, I realized that putting my thoughts down on paper or on the computer helped and it became a habit.

The SpyTo him, lying is a way of life.
Whether it be in dark alleys
Or in brightly-lit capitols, 
He's become wary, canny.
Word's to top off his disguise,
His eyes miss nothing,
His ears are far from deaf.
If someone was to merely glance,
He would look like a normal man
Just going about his day.
Little do they know,
Any slip of the tongue,
Every suspicious reaction,
He catches and remembers it all.
Sometimes he infiltrates,
Sometimes he's just there,
But no matter where he goes,
He's a hazard in every way.
To his target, to his country,
To everyone he knows.
Because he lives a life of lies,
     And who can trust a spy?
I really like this one, and I'm not sure why. I think it's because my poems always seemed to be about me, and I found that writing about other things was just as fun and easy.

Inside My HeadAs I sit on my bed,
Reminiscing in my head.
I see colors
Other than grey.
I see girls with laced clothes
And boys with muddy toes,
Playing with toys
And singing a song.
I see myself there too,
Playing, and I never knew
How cruel friends are,
However fake they be.
The children dancing,
The people laughing,
They hold the key
To all my memories.
My mind goes back to
My high school years too.
The fake, smiling girls
And lying, smirking boys.
I see myself there too,
Laughing, and I never knew
Just how cruel friends could be,
However fake they may be.
The children dancing,
The people laughing,
They hold the key
To all my memories.
Now I look around my room
And grey shadows seem to loom.
They're my imagination, 
The friends to keep me company.
I see them in there,
The seems of reality, they tear.
They laugh and scream in my head.
However fake they may be, they're here.
The children dancing, 
The people laughing,
They hold the key
To all my grey memories.
I like this one because it's a song, almost, and I could almost hear a tune in my head as I wrote it for a contest. I also really like how it flows. I don't know, I just really like it.

His CologneI stand beside him
And his cologne overwhelms me.
It flies into my senses,
And calms me down as he speaks.
This was one of my first really short poems, and I found that I really, really liked to write little short poems that got the point across but weren't too long.

She's a WriterShe sits at her desk
Her headphones in,
The world shut out.
She bleeds for others
As words fly from 
Her mind to her fingertips.
She stares at the screen,
At every little comment,
The good and the painful.
She forms her emotions
Into books and poems
To throw away the hurt.
She's a writer,
And her best weapons
Are her mind and her pen.
Then, finally, my most popular poem of all time! I never expected this poem to be so popular, ever, especially not as popular as it is. And I think it's amazing how crazy well this poem has done, when I thought it would be just another random poem on my little page. 

Thank you all SO MUCH! I wish I could give you all a huge hug, but instead of doing that, since I obviously cant, if any of you want me to write you something, I will! Just comment below, it can be fanfiction or a poem or a short story, anything you want! This is my thank you to all of you for sticking with my lazy and grumpy self for so long!

Answer to that? Busy, busy, BUSY! I have barely had time to breathe! I think I mentioned it, but I moved schools, and yesterday was my first day. And now that my summer's over, I'm looking back and going "What the fuck it's over already? I didn't even get to rest!" But yeah... I haven't been writing anything, including fanfiction, for those of you who follow me on Fanfiction.net. And I'm really, really sorry.   

Thank you to everyone that followed me on my little leave, and thank you all for the favorites, per usual. I don't know much about what's going on right now, but I'll try to keep you all updated! For right now, though, don't expect me on every day. I will try to keep writing things to post, but as my life is a train wreck right now, I cant seem to find the time. Again, thank you all SO much for sticking with me, you're all AMAZING PEOPLE!   

I was tagged by Phan5everx2 

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